Give Better Feedback With One Simple Phrase
A few weeks ago, I was listening to a podcast that explained an impactful way to give feedback.
Those who have been exposed to this type of feedback improved their performance exponentially – anywhere from a 40% improvement to a 320% improvement, according to Yale researchers.
It consists of one phrase. 19 words.
I am giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know you can reach them.
This seemingly simple phrase is highly effective. This is because it does three things:
It signals to people that they belong, that they are part of a group.
It clarifies that the leader has high expectations of the group.
It emphasizes that the person receiving feedback can meet the standards of the group, and that the leader believes in them and their abilities.
When this phrase is delivered in an authentic way, people are more inclined to be receptive to feedback and put it into practice.
Interestingly, it is not the feedback that makes the biggest impact. Instead, the signal of social belonging and trust that this phrase evokes makes the difference.
As a person who regularly gives feedback, to students and to clients, I thought I would put this phrase to the test.
It was surprising how well it worked.
Feedback recipients seemed to soften immediately after I spoke this phrase. They nodded, smiled a little, and listened. After the feedback was given, they asked questions, seeking clarification. They added their input. Then, they put the advice to work. Sometimes they did exactly what we discussed. Sometimes it was a modification of the plan. Either way, the work got better.
There also was an unexpected outcome. The relationship I had with each person I gave feedback to seemed to strengthen. Maybe it was because they knew I was on their side, that I wanted them to be successful. Maybe it was because they saw their own improvement, after completing their revisions. This may have reinforced the value of feedback and our relationship.
Most importantly, with the improvement in their performance, their confidence improved too.
They believed in themselves and their abilities more, which has a greater, long-lasting impact, than any feedback I can give.
All because of one little phrase!
I will continue to use this phrase in any feedback I give, because it worked so well. I invite you to do the same.
As a challenge this week, I encourage you to set the tone for any feedback conversation by using this phrase before you give any constructive criticism, whether it be with an employee, service provider, student, mentee, or even your child.
When said in an authentic way it likely will illicit feelings of belonging, and inclusion. It will also likely increase their desire to listen to what you have to say and grow from it. All are great outcomes and are well worth the little effort it requires.
I encourage you to give it a try and see what happens.
Best wishes, Lauren