Navigating Difficult Relationships at Work
From the outset of my career, I’ve always poured my heart into my work, consistently aiming to surpass expectations with genuine enthusiasm and commitment. Yet, despite my best intentions, this approach didn't resonate with everyone.
Along the way, I encountered challenging personalities—those who took it upon themselves to be overtly unkind, assert their dominance unnecessarily, or speak about me behind my back. These interactions felt perplexing and, at times, deeply disheartening.
Naively, I believed that ascending to a leadership position might shield me from these challenges. But as I soon realized, while the overt unkindness might subside, interpersonal challenges don’t entirely disappear with a title change.
It turns out that working with difficult people is a universal professional experience.
Once I came to this realization, I knew I had to develop some strategies to make these encounters more manageable. Here are a few that I learned along the way:
1. Seek Assistance. Engaging a difficult colleague in a positive and constructive manner can sometimes alter the dynamic of the relationship. By recognizing and leveraging their strengths and seeking their input or assistance on a project or task, we not only benefit from their expertise, but also create an environment of mutual respect and value. Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated, and this can be an effective way to bridge gaps and establish rapport.
2. Radiate Kindness. It's tempting to match negativity with negativity. However, choosing to be kind—even when it's least expected—can disarm even the most challenging individuals. Over time, this can even transform professional relationships.
3. Practice Empathy. Recognize that everyone, including difficult colleagues, has a story. They may be dealing with personal challenges or stresses that spill over into their professional behavior. By approaching interactions with an empathetic mindset, you can avoid taking things personally and work toward more constructive outcomes.
4. Stay Calm. Escalating confrontations rarely lead to positive outcomes. When faced with aggressive or antagonistic behavior, take a deep breath, maintain your composure, and respond in a measured manner. This approach often prevents situations from getting out of hand and can even encourage more cooperative behavior from the other party.
5. Establish Boundaries. It's important to have a clear sense of what behaviours you find acceptable and what crosses the line. If someone oversteps, address it directly but diplomatically. This might mean saying, "I value our professional relationship, but I'd appreciate if we kept our discussions focused on the task at hand."
The corporate world is diverse, and not everyone will resonate with your approach. That's okay.
However, we do need to learn how to master the art of managing different personalities so the workplace can be as enjoyable as possible.
And so, as a challenge this week, I invite you to think about a difficult relationship you're navigating in your professional life. Can you implement one of the strategies mentioned above? Perhaps you can practice greater empathy, establish stronger boundaries or seek assistance from the difficult colleague?
The corporate landscape is filled with a spectrum of personalities, each bringing their own set of challenges and rewards. Sometimes, the tiniest adjustments in our approach can create a world of difference.
Best wishes, Lauren
P.S. If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed by workplace dynamics, know that you're not alone. I offer a complimentary 30-minute consultation to discuss strategies and tools to foster a healthier, more harmonious professional environment. Reach out; I'm here to support you.