Finding Purpose Beyond the To-Do List
Last year, I decided to join the trend of choosing a word for the year. After much thought, I landed on focus.
As someone with many interests, I often spread myself too thin trying to pursue them all. This year, I wanted to streamline my attention, concentrate on a few key goals, and see if that approach would lead to more meaningful success.
Instead of treating my goals as items on a never-ending “to-do” list—a mindset that dominated my 20s and 30s—I chose to go deeper. Inspired by David Brooks’ concept of resume virtues versus eulogy virtues, I aimed to shift my focus.
Resume virtues reflect external achievements: how much money you make, the degrees you earn, or the accolades you collect.
Eulogy virtues, on the other hand, are about character: how you show up as a friend, partner, or community member.
Most people aspire to live by eulogy virtues but spend their days chasing resume virtues. For much of my life, I was no different. What began as well-intentioned goals—earning graduate degrees, improving my health and fitness, or running a community-based business—often drifted into the realm of box-checking. My focus shifted to “achieving more,” rather than reflecting on why I was doing it in the first place.
When I adopted the word focus, I intended to improve specific areas of my life. What surprised me was how transformative this simple shift in mindset turned out to be.
With more focused attention, I began enjoying the process instead of rushing toward the outcome. I slowed down. I got to know my clients better. I spent more time with friends. I improved my health, not just for the sake of a goal but because it brought me joy.
Ironically, by living a more people-centered life instead of a work-centered life, I became more successful. But more importantly, I felt more fulfilled—and this fulfillment positively impacted my work.
This year, I aim to continue on this path. I’m steering away from measuring my progress through numbers or achievements and focusing instead on relationships. There is so much meaning and purpose to be found in slowing down, connecting, and investing in the people around us.
So here’s my challenge for you this week: Reflect on whether resume virtues or eulogy virtues are guiding your focus. If resume virtues dominate, take a moment to shift your attention. Engage in a meaningful conversation, support a colleague, or simply be present with the people who matter most.
As the new year begins, let’s commit to building deeper relationships. Let’s nurture them, enjoy them, and embrace the fulfillment they bring into our lives.
Here’s to a fulfilling year ahead.
-Lauren
